Condescending Able-Bodied People

Alternatively titled: You Probably Know Fuck All and You Make Me Tired

If I received money every time an able-bodied person said something ridiculous I would be extremely rich by now. When faced with disability abled people tend to think they finished med school with honors. What a shame that they probably did not, instead they are giving away all that unnecessary medical advice and they aren’t even making money with it. Their lives must be so incredibly difficult. If I had five minutes to spare, perhaps I would actually feel bad for them.

Honestly this behaviour is annoying as hell. Abled people, and my lord there are so many of them who do this, really love to be condescending and explain to you that you are doing it all wrong and your doctors and physical therapists are also wrong and only their miracle cure will work. Only their knowledge is the correct knowledge because their cousin’s boyfriend’s uncle once hurt his toe and this worked for him, so clearly it will work for your complicated medical problems too. All bodies are the same after all, they all function the same and if everyone would just do yoga no one would be disabled anymore. Isn’t it just so disappointing that all these disabled people refuse to do yoga when clearly it will cure us all?

Sadly, disabilities are much more complex than that. What works for one person will not work for another person. People have different disabilities and even when someone deals with the exact same disability or illness, their symptoms and so on will still vary. One person can react badly to a certain drug and the other will get a lot of benefits from it.

It’s like person A likes cheese and person B does not. Just because person B doesn’t like cheese, doesn’t mean cheese is bad. Person A can eat as much cheese as they like but it would be annoying if they kept telling person B to eat cheese every single day. It won’t benefit person B to eat the cheese because person A’s love for cheese won’t make them love it.

The reason this pisses me off so much is because not only is it condescending as fuck, it’s also an insult. What makes you think you know more than someone who lives with their illness every single day? How dare you suggest I don’t know my own body and how dare you question the qualities of medical professionals who I have put my trust in?

Trust me when I say that I don’t trust anyone in the medical field easily, I question everything and I do my own fucking research. I don’t just follow with whatever a doctor tells me to if I’m not sure it can benefit me. I don’t put a single drug in my mouth without knowing exactly what it does. But you want to tell me that after 5 minutes of basic information you know more than me and professionals. Do you have supervision? Are you a superhero? Great, solved all medical mysteries now. Amazing. Doctors have been figuring out certain things for decades and you needed 2 seconds. Why even bother with med school at all?

You might have good intentions when you tell me I don’t really need a wheelchair, just need to go vegan, be more motivated to beat my illness or try yoga and whatever else abled people come up with as a miracle cure. I genuinely believe some people will mean well. The thing is though, your intentions mean fuck all to me. You are giving unwanted, unneeded and probably incredibly bad medical advice. Plus usually, when abled-bodied folks do this they either are just condescending or they also talk like me like I am a toddler. I am not impressed by that sort of behaviour at all. If I wanted your advice or opinion I would have asked. You are giving me information about 300 people have already told me before. Exact same tone, exact same words. It’s usually bullshit and I don’t have the time and patience to deal with bullshit. I have a body to take care of and a life to live. You just handle yours, okay?

This entire post has been me being done with people’s shit and being sick of hearing the same thing over and over. Honestly it’s boring me, how many more times do I need to hear the word yoga?! I will do another post on the issues I have faced with doctors being shit or ableist or whatever, because I could talk about that for another 50 years. I guess I am saying more angry blogging will follow.

 

Links:

https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/946806-abled-people-are-exhausting-v1-magenta-script? (If you are exhausted by abled people like I am, you can support @EbThen who is also disabled by buying this shirt)

http://disabledfeminists.com/2010/11/19/what-is-ableism-five-things-about-ableism-you-should-know/

Please come and say hi on twitter, where I usually contain my anger and general emotions, @eeveeraz. If you have any questions, you may also email me at chronicallyraz@gmail.com. I reply to emails, messages and twitter DMs on Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays. Ways To Support are listed here.

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Author: Chronically Raz

Hi I'm Raz, I'm a 20-years-old from the Netherlands and I am chronically ill. Follow me on my journey as a queer cripple who likes dogs and shiny things.

2 thoughts on “Condescending Able-Bodied People”

  1. Reblogged this on Spoons, Sporks, & Knives and commented:
    As someone who enjoys yoga and is a spoonie, I can attest to not being a cure-all. Adding to this person’s lists I can say anti-vaxxers are up there too – my life and many like me depends on herd immunity so your fake research on why vaccines injure legitimately hurts real people, and I don’t give a fuck what anyone says, the anti-vax movement has its roots deep in anti-autism.

    Like

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